we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
