Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
