He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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