Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
