Plan B is the new Plan A
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
