took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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