You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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