Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
