I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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