her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
