dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
