Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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