I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
