I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
