we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i drank out of a bidet.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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