See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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