Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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