My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
