My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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