Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
