You were right. It hurts to walk today.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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