shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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