people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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