I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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