I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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