I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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