yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
