Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
