How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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