don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The uberlube is also flammable
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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