Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
