Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
love makes seman taste better
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
