Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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