this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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