she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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