remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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