I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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