You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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