Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
