Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
