I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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