please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
