if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
