Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
