i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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