oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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