Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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