we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
They are going to name an STD after you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
