no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
