made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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