When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
